Hope

Hope is a spirit and will always be our spirit.
We need a hope to make something seems possible.
But there is always hope for those who never give up.
"Satisfaction lies in the effort; not in the attainment.Full effort is full victory."
I had never been hope so much on something until now,like i will fight for it even though i know i only have a chance like 0.1%.
I am trying to persuade my parents so they will let me go back to college and university.
I know for sure sometimes how hard it is to deal with our parents.
They had already rejected me last year,and this year i am gonna try it again,because i am suppose to be the one who will decided my future and not my parents.
"...life is an adventure,dare it..."
Mother Teresa said, "Do not allow yourself to be disheartened by any failure as long
as you have done your best."
We never lose chances to try again and again or when we are ready.
Same as when i hope to meet someone there i want to meet,even though i know we live
so far away but deep in my heart i know there is still a hope that one day we will meet.
I am still alive because i still have my hope here with me.
It is like a small fire that lives in my heart,as long as it never settled,my hope will always there.

Childhood

Recalling my childhood memories,should be something fun and delightful.
But what if those memories are ones that i don't want to remember.
What if rewinding to those memories will only draw pain.
But it's either sweet or bitter...that's memory.
I cannot remember any sweet moment from my childhood,
the only thing i will never forget is how depressed i was till i want to try
to kill myself and felt like living in this world is such a useless thing.
My mom had being unfair between my brother and i since my primary school.
She still had that habit from her last generation,like from her mom saying that
having a son was a lucky thing for a family and according to them,having a daughter
was useless.
Oneday...when i came back from school,i accidentally heard my mom was talking on phone
with her friend saying that she would prefer to have a son only.
and so do all my mom's sisters and brothers,they all had the same thought.
I got hit by my mom more than my brother,and she was always yell at me,and that made me
felt like she hate me.
We fought alot and sometimes ended up we didn't talk to each other for like weeks
or maybe one month,the longest i can remember.
All that situation made me stay away from my aunties and uncles and i felt kinda
hate them,because all they care was my brother only and always talked bad about me.
So as time goes by,i just spent my time alone mostly.
Only share with my "dear diary" and i did not feel like staying close with my family,
except my dad.
He is the only one that care with me so much and i love him.
Now that i had grown up...i learn something from my past.
never think a kid will not understand anything but the opposite,i will remember it always until forever.
It had been stuck in my head and i could not erase it.
If u have children,i hope u will love them no matter it's a boy or a girl.
What they will be in the future depend on how their parents teach them,and not
because of the gender.