Childhood

Recalling my childhood memories,should be something fun and delightful.
But what if those memories are ones that i don't want to remember.
What if rewinding to those memories will only draw pain.
But it's either sweet or bitter...that's memory.
I cannot remember any sweet moment from my childhood,
the only thing i will never forget is how depressed i was till i want to try
to kill myself and felt like living in this world is such a useless thing.
My mom had being unfair between my brother and i since my primary school.
She still had that habit from her last generation,like from her mom saying that
having a son was a lucky thing for a family and according to them,having a daughter
was useless.
Oneday...when i came back from school,i accidentally heard my mom was talking on phone
with her friend saying that she would prefer to have a son only.
and so do all my mom's sisters and brothers,they all had the same thought.
I got hit by my mom more than my brother,and she was always yell at me,and that made me
felt like she hate me.
We fought alot and sometimes ended up we didn't talk to each other for like weeks
or maybe one month,the longest i can remember.
All that situation made me stay away from my aunties and uncles and i felt kinda
hate them,because all they care was my brother only and always talked bad about me.
So as time goes by,i just spent my time alone mostly.
Only share with my "dear diary" and i did not feel like staying close with my family,
except my dad.
He is the only one that care with me so much and i love him.
Now that i had grown up...i learn something from my past.
never think a kid will not understand anything but the opposite,i will remember it always until forever.
It had been stuck in my head and i could not erase it.
If u have children,i hope u will love them no matter it's a boy or a girl.
What they will be in the future depend on how their parents teach them,and not
because of the gender.